We are expos-ed

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He looked like a secret

The Prydain Chronicles (5), Time Cat (1), The Marvelous Journeys of Prince Jen (1), The Marvelous Misadventures of Sebastian (1), Ms. Switch (3), Vesper Holly (many). From here I can measure my childhood. Thank you.

There it is! It's a man.

Shall I compare thee? (there is none)

You know that time when you're too clever for your own good? Skipping down the street, disdaining to bend and smell the roses (the salty ones, my dear and the dishwater too). Waggling a finger at the sky and writing ironic poetry about drugstore epiphanies. And croquet players are warbling and you are seeing only yourself reflected in a thousand bending leaflets. And this summer day is for you. Created, molded really, into sumptuous curves that wonderbra-like (lift and separate, my little cream puff) counterfeit whatever is lacking. And you're ready to cry on the shoulders of strangers. You're ready to bring down sparrows with your tongue. Ready for skunkwhispering (what's the scent on the wind?) and whistling in the dark. These are your esoteric skills. That is your avocation.

Alter-Egotism

When I met my roommate Michael's friend Dana, she was helping to hold up a quarter-mile long sign. The sign had the names of all the US soldiers that had died in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was the day of the Peace Rally on the Mall and Dana and her friends had driven all the way from West Virginia with a nun, the sign, and hand-made drums.

Later I found out that she edits a zine.

This is my contribution.

Yours Truly,

The Mighty Snork, Mistress or Frippery who's Aegis is Whipped Topping

Super Secret Alter-Ego

Yes, we all have one lurking within. Some of us may be more in-touch with this declarative-sentence-making, large-object-scaling, bizarre-spandex-wearing side of our personally. Others may need a little more help. To find the Super Secret Alter-Ego that's right for you, I suggest this handy, semi-mystical method.

Simply put yourself into a light trance. Take the index finger of one hand (Warning: left-pointing may skew your Alter-Ego towards the sinister). Close your eyes and run your finger up and down each column in turn until the power within bids you stop. Do this three times, until you have three separate names (one Title, Provenance, and Aegis). Then combine them using the formula below. And Viola!

Please remember to use your Alter-Ego for good (non destructive evil is probably acceptable too).


Title + Master/Mistress/Protector/Bane of + Provenance -- Aegis


Title:
Potentia/Potentior
Rapscallion
Absentia/or
Flagrentia/or
The Masticator
Formidable Fiend
Malevolentia/or
Anachronistia/or
Randamonia/or
The Great Doodler
Cranium
The Mighty Snork

Provenance:
Cruciferous Edibles
Biodegradable Cleaning Products
Those Who fear To Speak In Math Class
Lords of Hopscotch
Arcane Vocabulary
Pulchritudinous Sofas
The Six-Fingered
Tax Attorneys
Pahoehoe (Ropy Lava)
Lovers of B-Grade Action Flicks
Kitten Kissers
Cheese Mold
Daring-Do
Differentiating Homonyms
Frippery
Baubles

Aegis:
Giant Herring
Wombat
Magic Marker
Chiffon
Eraser
Whipped Topping
Bucket
Elbow Grease
String
Leeks
Lichen
Man-hole Cover

Mockery is the greatest form of flattery

We are brilliant shining gods.